Dart Bearmahn: “Why Leah Never Won the Lottery, The Red Sox Didn’t Win the 2004 World Series, Man is Not Descended from Apes, and Jesus Never Died on the Cross.”
Bart Ehrman’s
historiography designates miracles “the least likely of all possible events.” Furthermore, Ehrman argues that affirming a
miracle requires belief in God. Hence,
on two counts, historians are unable to argue historically that a miracle (such as Jesus’s resurrection)
occurred. First, historians try to
arrive at the “most probable” historical explanation; and since a miracle is by
definition the least likely occurrence, it can never be the most probable
explanation. Second, historians draw
conclusions that are open to peers of all worldview beliefs; and since belief
in miracles requires belief in God, and since not all historians believe in
God, therefore historians cannot conclude as
a matter of history that a miracle has occurred.
In this paper, I will
playfully (but logically and rigorously) apply Ehrman’s reasoning to four other
historical hypotheses in an imaginative dialogue between Dr. Ehrman and his
heretofore-unknown academic mirror, Prof. Dart Bearmahn. Dr. Ehrman will articulate the historical
reasoning that leads him to reject the resurrection of Jesus. Prof. Bearmahn will enthusiastically jump on
the bandwagon, drawing conclusions that seem to follow logically from Dr.
Ehrman’s principles, but leave Dr. Ehrman aghast. First, Leah’s lottery win was the least
likely of all possible events. I will
demonstrate that every other historical hypothesis, no matter how far-fetched,
is nonetheless more probable than Leah’s win.
Second, the Red Sox playoff victory over the Yankees was without
precedent, and thereby had an antecedent probability of virtually zero. Third, not all people (historians or
scientists) embrace Darwinian evolution, therefore common descent is an
illegitimate historical hypothesis.
Finally, on the same count, some doubt the very existence of Jesus: therefore,
we cannot say that Jesus died on the cross as
a matter of history, even if someone wants to claim that, theologically, Jesus of Nazareth was
crucified by the Romans.
